11 examples of the first online dating post that get answered
Tired of not receiving replies to messages you send on online dating sites and apps?
Whether Match.com, OkCupid, POF or Tinder, sending that first message to a girl you really like and not getting any response is one of the worst things about dating online.
Especially when it happens over and over again.
This is one of the main reasons why many online daters give up completely in just a few months.
But don't throw in the towel just yet - we have 11 examples of early online dating messages that work like magic for answers, and you can use them today!
Not only will you get proven examples you can use right now, but you'll also get the online dating message tips you need to create your own unique conversation starters - and the best times to send them.
Just follow the expert advice in this short article and watch your inbox fill with women who are thrilled to meet you in person!
First Message Strategy # 1: Go For Laughs
Funny online dating messages get answers because women naturally find men with a sense of humor attractive. It is true - scientists have proven il. But the key to having a successful first message, of course, is actually being .
On Tinder, you can pair an eye-catching GIF with a humorous message:
On a dating site like Match.com or POF, you can make a joke about the shared experience of scrolling through profile after profile:
Find common ground is a pro move, because if you can make her believe that the two of you are similar, she will be more likely to respond. Women are simply More comfortable around people who remind them of themselves.
Which brings us to our next examples of opening lines…
First Message Strategy # 2: Connect on Common Ground
Travel is a great topic for a first post because it's something most women love to do, or at least love to dream about. And who doesn't at least like to think that they have a great sense of adventure? It's a topic you'll find mentioned in just about every .
Many online dating sites like Match.com and OkCupid offer keyword research, so you can filter out women who also enjoy a certain hobby.
So if you are into skiing you can message like the one at kelli_diann above to all the interesting women who mention it in their profiles.
On a dating app like Tinder or Bumble, you can take a quick glance at her photos and biography to see if any common interests stand out. For example, if you find that you both love dogs, this would be a good first post for online dating:
You'll save a ton of time once you get a 'go-to' copy-paste message for any hobby you want to share with your matches. (Skeptical of the effectiveness of copy and paste? Read this article.)
Strategy of the first message n ° 3: inspire a desire
(Note: A long post like this example works best for dating sites like Match, OkCupid, or POF. You're going to want to keep your messages a bit shorter on apps like Tinder and Bumble.)
Certain words attract attention because they sound delicious. Chocolate, cheesecake, ala mode… who wouldn't want to continue reading?
Notice how it starts with a slight compliment. Complimenting her will often get you points, but only if you focus on intangible qualities like intelligence or her accomplishments.
Don't make the rookie mistake of praising her physical appearance, especially when trying to strike up a conversation with a girl online for the first time.
Tons of guys are doing it, and she gets tons of messages with a variation of "you're hot". Giving her a more meaningful compliment is a breath of fresh air for her.
Mentioning something delicious also works well on dating apps. In fact, the Hinge dating app found that girls are 40% more likely to respond to food messages.
Here's a short and delicious message, perfect for a dating app:
First Message Strategy # 4: Be Personal
It is basic human nature to love to talk about yourself. In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good. Ask her an open ended question that lets her share something about herself, and she's instantly in her Happy Place. And the better she feels talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number.
The example above is more suitable for an online dating site where longer posts are the norm, but you can make it speak for itself on a dating app with a short post like this:
First Post Strategy # 5: Show Your Creative Side
Most of your competition sends him lame first messages like "Hey, how was your weekend?" And "Hi, I'm John. This is great news for you, as it gives you the opportunity to shine by asking her an interesting, fun, or creative question like this:
Here's what these 11 opening message examples have in common:
- They instantly pique his curiosity. If she doesn't even want to read on, why would she bother to answer, much less want to meet you ?
- They set you apart from the crowd. Remember, if she gets tons of messages from guys like you. You have to send them a message every time.
- They ask him a question. You need to make it as easy as possible for her to respond, and controlling the conversation is an easy way to do that.
These three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opening. Miss one of them and it moves on to the next person.
Best time to send your first message
To increase your chances of getting a response to your message, send them out when it's probably convenient for her to respond. Weeknights are usually the best - many women relax from a long day at work by launching a dating app while catching up on Netflix.
According to Nielsen, activity on OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 21 p.m., and usage begins to decline rapidly after 22 p.m. On Bumble, the live action starts a bit earlier, with activity peaking at 18 hours.
In many cases, the increase has been quite dramatic. During winter storm Juno, activity on Hinge increased by 47%, resulting in a 56% increase in the number of phone numbers exchanged and an incredible 96% increase in two-way message exchanges.
On OkCupid, a little rain translates to a 10% increase in site activity, and Juno caused a 36% spike in activity. On Match, activity typically increases by around 33% during snowstorms, and large storms go along with a 20-40% increase in bumblebee activity.
No answer? Here's what to do next!
Of course, there is no copy and paste message that guarantees a conversation starts every time you send it. There are a ton of variables involved, like your photos and online dating profile. If these aren't top notch, our ultimate guide to online dating has all the tools and tips you need to keep them up to date.
Other variables you can't control, like what it does when it reads your message. If she takes a look at her Match.com profile between meetings, she might not have a chance to respond and forget to come back to it later.
If you don't get a response, give it a second chance. Try a light follow-up message like this:
But if she still doesn't bite, continue. The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. Also, there are a lot more interesting and attractive women out there, so focus your efforts on them.
Why Savvy Guys uses Copy and Paste messages
Now let's talk about the elephant in the room: copy and paste messages. Some online dating "experts" will tell you that they don't work. Online daters are too smart to fall in love with them. They are a huge stop. Blah blah blah. These guys clearly haven't done their homework.
Here is the truth in a nutshell. Statistically speaking, you envision an uphill battle. The average guy needs to generate 114 posts to be 99% sure they get a response - and spend 6,7 hours per week I do it.
Considering this fact, why would you spend tons of time scanning every woman's profile and then writing a personalized message just for her? It's crazy - you don't have that kind of time, especially when it's a . There's a much better way to beat those odds, et boost your response rate at the same time.
At VIDA we have been using the copy and paste approach since 2009. Not only does the copy and paste work, but we get amazing results for our clients with them. Our internal data doesn't lie.
Other industry experts also recognize the wisdom of the cut and paste method. Christian Rudder of OkCupid said the use of message templates not only saves you time in the short term, but also more effective long-term strategy as well as.
And even if a woman calls you to send a template message, then what? You have a response that you can turn into a conversation. And many smart daters recognize the wisdom in using them, like this woman who weighed in on a Quora forum discussion:
When your first post is interesting and creative, there's a good chance it'll respond. Why? Because when you ask him a question that's fun to think about and answer, you've created an emotional connection.
This is the reason why you do not get good results (if any) with early messages like "Hey" and "Hi". Where's the fun of writing an answer to that? And even worse, you put the onus on her to keep the conversation going, so finding an answer is a job for her.
The hotter she is, the more messages she receives, so she will only reply to the best messages in her inbox. Nothing kills your online dating game faster than being boring.
Meet More High Quality Women - Quickly!
We've shared 11 first sample posts that work wonderfully, but that's just the start. You'll get a ton of responses which means you need to continue the online dating conversation and ask her out.
You need to keep their attention every step of the way and create attraction with every post. Yes, there's a reason so many guys complain that modern dating is exhausting.
You can skip all that stress and go straight to the dates. With VIDA, it really is that easy. Our online dating experts manage your profile, picture, and all that tedious back-and-forth message. All you do is show up for the dates! Click here to find out more.
