Use mood lighting and costumes
So you've met a girl and it's a match made in heaven (well, Tinder), and your cheesy chat lines don't cut it anymore - what are you doing to save this blossoming romance? The answer is simple - the photo of the cock. But how do you take the perfect shot of the dick? How to show off your tree in the best light imaginable?
On behalf of all women, here are some tips to help you the next time you plan to send tasteful nudes.
Use artistic angles
e Death from above
It seems like boys have a hard time finding the most flattering angle, so why not use all of the less flattering ones?
From above gives us the opportunity to feel like we have a penis ourselves, from below we glimpse a deliciously hairy ball sack and a bird's-eye photo really leaves us in awe in all its glory. splendor - what's not to love ?!
Captain Birdseye
Adopt creative comparisons
Now, how are single-minded women supposed to understand your height in relation to your body?
Please show us a comparison with as many phallic shaped objects as possible.
Be in harmony with your environment
I'm sure all of the waist-high surfaces were done for cock photo purposes only - because a photo of your penis fallen on your desk really gets us going.
Even better, on the kitchen surface. Your lack of hygiene is a complete turn.
The perfect kitchen utensil
Let every girl on Tinder know you fancy a swap
A dick pic is not a dick pic if it's not well advertised.
Don't stop broadcasting it on your Tinder matches, why not create posters and stick them around the Student Union to advertise your exclusive nudes in exchange for a cheeky cleavage?
Use mood lighting
Your camera is ready, the ads have been sent, and you have a lucky new contact on the internet.
Now just dim the lights, a little more, a little more, not honest your penis photos are best in total darkness.
Enter the risk factor
According to my sources, a risky handjob is even better than a safe handjob, so you should really follow the same policy when taking your manhood.
A photo of cock in the park admiring seagulls, next to Lidl bakery holding a cheese twist, maybe even while you eat cheeky Nandos with the guys - anything is guaranteed to be successful.
A large French stick
Use with disguises
Have you ever felt embarrassed by your naked appearance? Disguises are the answer.
Adding a hat, googly eyes, a smiley face, in fact all the accessories you want, will spice up a penis image and have a positive side effect of leaving you looking super fabulous.
A curve is quite normal
Ok, maybe just not
Maybe the moral of the story is right please don't send us your cock pics - they really aren't that pretty. Unless of course you want us to run the other way after capturing what you sent and posting it to our What's App 'gals, gals, gals' group.
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