Sexting is, without a doubt, an art of the 21st century.
Not only is this a spicy way to connect on another level with your partner, but it also builds confidence, says psychotherapist and sex therapist. Pia Holec, PsyD. “We communicate about what we want to do to each other,” she says.
But if you've ever sent a sext that felt so embarrassing or feeling like you need to be a sex goddess to even participate, you might have dismissed the idea with your old flip phone.
“There's concern that the sexting might be awkward, or that you need to create a certain environment that you're not used to,” says Holec. “It builds to a, 'Oh my God, what am I going to look like?' No, you don't have to think of X-rated smut if that's not your thing. Instead, use language you already use to flirt and tease your partner. If you're struggling with a prompt, Holec suggests taking inspiration from past memories or where you like to be touched (by yourself or a partner), and set the mood from there.
Remember: "Sexting is everything", sex therapist Shamyra howard, Says LCSW. Think about pictures (faceless JIC), porn clips, vocal notes, erotica, etc. Or, you can give your partner some positive affirmations or talk about a new toy that you are about to spin.
But, before you throw in a steamy sext, ask your partner if that's even something they want to do, Howard says. Describe your limits. Maybe the photos are cool, but the group sex texts are not. And if the conversation isn't comfortable at all times, an established safety word (like the one you use in the bedroom) can be helpful here, too, says Holec.
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Sometimes sexting is more about creating and teasing a fantasy than orgasm, sexpert and spokesperson for Sweet Vibes Tyomi morgan said. And while it can be super hot putting those sexting into action the next time you see your partner, Howard says you can also sext yourself just to enjoy the erotica.
Whether you're a newbie who wants to learn sexting with your partner or a seasoned pro who wants to surprise your loved one with new ~ tricks ~, these expert recommended sexting will help you nail the digital dirty talk your way.
When you feel nostalgic
When you send a photo of a sex position you would like to try
When you want to pique their interest
When you need a midday pickup
When you feel playful
When you want to ~ test the waters ~
When you want to give congratulations
When you want to play with your new toy
When you feel perverted
When you want to know if it's the right time
When you don't know what to say but you don't wanna stop
When you want to channel your romantic interior
When you're in the mood to tease
When you wake up from a hot dream
When you want to paint a visual
When you feel free
When you are ready to explore
When you have finished your research
When you want to appease your hunger
When you send a photo of a toy
When you want to give them some control
When you dreamed of last night
When sending photos taking off your favorite lingerie one piece at a time
When you count the minutes
When you want all the foreplay
When you need to write them in pencil
When you want to get into their ... head
When you want to increase the number of times to 100
When you want to play pretend by video
When you want to give affirmation words via voice messages
When you want to bring a fantasy to life
When you want to engage the senses
When you set the stage
When you make the rules
When you want to share what you love to do
When you miss them
When all is said and done
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